Building Better Managers Podcast Episode #69: Positive Persuasion and Influencing with Integrity Featuring Stephen McGarvey
At BetterManager, we consistently see the importance of interpersonal communication skills as the top topic being discussed in 1:1 coaching – no matter what role individuals and managers play within an organization. Developing the skills to persuade and influence others will open doors in your professional, as well as your personal life, as you’re able to better communicate with others and lead them with integrity toward your desired goals, as well as theirs.
Stephen McGarvey brings his unique perspective and practical recommendations on how you can benefit from prioritizing listening over convincing, how to stop catastrophizing and deal with anxiety in productive ways, how to see selling as a consultative partnership (instead of a strictly self-serving one), the relevance and importance of rapport and how to foster and engage it, and much more.
In this episode:
Meet Stephen McGarvey
- Stephen McGarvey is an international speaker, an expert on persuasion and influence, and the founder of a boutique consulting firm, Solutions In Mind. He assists corporations and audiences around the world in solving difficult communications problems by guiding them on an engaging, fast-paced, fascinating journey inside the unconscious mind.
- His new book is the USA Today and Wall Street Journal #1 Best Seller Ignite a Shift: Engaging Minds, Guiding Emotions and Driving Behavior.
How to Deal with Anxiety
- What's the opposite to catastrophizing - what if you imagined it turning out exactly the way you want it to instead? When you project results into the future turning out in a positive way, you'll see people smiling. And it's almost like they can't believe that it could be that simple. Some people are so exceptional at catastrophizing that it becomes a habit.
- When we interrupt that pattern, interrupt that habit, and actually get them imagining something turning out well, the anxiety dissolves. They suddenly are able to focus and make it work. There is a realization that it's the way they think about the problem that is what determines the mood or state that they're in.
The Importance of Rapport
- One of the best ways to strengthen relationships is to increase rapport, and that can absolutely be built intentionally. People fall back far too often on the myth that it could damage the relationship, so they're afraid to have deeper level conversations. Understand that rapport is elastic. So if you push too hard, or if ask a question that's too challenging, it will not break the relationship, you can go back and repair that by backing up a little bit and reestablishing it.
- One of the keys to building rapport is actively listening and being in a state of curiosity - showing genuine interest in the other person. Rather than just framing the next thing you're going to say, it's actually listening to the person, asking clarifying questions, and showing that you're keenly interested in their perspective and how they think. When we do that, we can add more value to how we relate to them, and we can adjust how we communicate, to better match up with how they think.
- Get yourself in a state of curiosity, where you're keenly curious about the other person. It's often less about giving advice and more about asking the right questions. It's about getting greater insight into how they think, and to tap into the resourcefulness that brings.
Seeing Sales as a Consultative Partnership
- Many people who are extremely uncomfortable with traditional selling are far more effective with consultative selling because it incorporates concepts like positive persuasion and influencing with integrity, rather than manipulative and purely self-serving.
- When really identify a need that the other person has, and we truly believe that we have the best solution to that to fulfill that need, then it's a win-win situation that anyone can pursue with energy and confidence.
- And yes, Stephen also believes if we find out that their need is better fulfilled by somebody other than us... that we owe it to them to point them in that direction. When our product or service IS what they or a friend or colleague needs, they will definitely seek us out and refer other potential clients our way.
Downloads & Resources
Follow Stephen on LinkedIn, Twitter, and at SolutionsInMind.com.
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Check out our blog articles on Leadership here.
Stephen McGarvey is an international speaker, an expert on persuasion and influence, and the founder of a boutique consulting firm, Solutions In Mind. He assists corporations and audiences around the world in solving difficult communications problems by guiding them on an engaging, fast-paced, fascinating journey inside the unconscious mind. His new book is the USA Today and Wall Street Journal #1 Best Seller "Ignite a Shift: Engaging Minds, Guiding Emotions and Driving Behavior."